When my son Jonathan (now 18) was a toddler, I was a publishing executive. I traveled extensively and worked very long hours which meant, regrettably, that I missed many of Jonathan's day-to-day toddler experiences. I tried to get my full of them on the weekends, of course. But in some sense those "make-up" days made the work week's distance between us seem even greater.
Jonathan had to learn how to say good-bye to mommy as a very young child. And I had to figure out some way to stay connected to him. Cell phones were just becoming available but each call was very expensive. Skype was just a dream in the mind of a Silicon Valley inventor.
I realized that the thing that I missed most was those many moments, throughout the day, when a kiss was the instinctive way to reward an accomplishment, express a sudden rush of love, or comfort a stumble. Those missed kisses were emblematic of the constant mommy presence that I was unable to provide.
So I came up with the idea for creating imaginary kisses to give to Jonathan before I left for work or on a trip. They were kisses that he put in his pocket and could take out whenever he wanted one from me. This became a ritual and a tradition that survived many, many years and provided comfort and a psychologically healthy tool for each of us to deal with my frequent absence. Today, "pocket kisses" are still doled out in our house. But now I send them to Jonathan via text message.
I hope that this story will resonate for other working mothers who have to juggle careers with motherhood and deal with the fact that sometimes you feel as though you're unable to give either commitment everything it demands. But it is possible to do both. And there are creative ways to overcome the obstacles and stressors. Pocket kisses are a tiny example of one mommy's solution. Perhaps they can inspire and/or reassure some other frazzled mommy's out there trying to keep too many balls in the air.